The Crowd Thins, the Plot Thickens – Updatedx2

Update 3:10PM: So I go out to run some errands and what happens? Lit and Parkinson get out, as did Ogle. Now it’s a four man race, Kemp Conrad, The John Willingham Experience™, Paul Shaffer, and Arnett Montague III. Memphis Democrats, it’s time to get behind Paul. I hope to have more soon.

Update 9:18am: Just got an email that Mary Wilder has withdrawn from the race. This is very surprising, but considering the mountain of cash she faced, a very good move on her part. The original text of this post follows.

As reported in this morning’s CA, three people have decided to drop out of the City Council District 9 Seat 1 race; Brian Stephens, the second place finisher from District 2, Regina Morrison Newman, and Robert Stringer. This brings the count down to 8, but only 4 or 5 candidates will probably bring anything to the table.

There are rumors flying around that some of these candidates will spend a couple hundred thousand bucks to get elected. In order to stay competitive, the following 5 are either going to have to rob a bank, win the lottery, find that long lost rich uncle, mortgage their homes, tap into the bags of money they’ve been hiding all these years, or run an absolutely brilliant campaign with no mistakes, sleep, food, and probably a bunch of other necessities.

Here’s the list, in order of Money to burn:

1. Kemp Conrad – I’ve heard he’s putting his house up to pay for the campaign. Watch out for shady lenders Kemp! I’m working on something really entertaining to call the former chair of the Shelby County Republican party, but I’m waiting for the censors in DC to clear it. Damnable bureaucracy! In the meantime, here’s his questionnaire from last year’s race, courtesy of The Coalition for a Better Memphis

2. The John Willingham Experience™ – Who loves ya baby? You know he has bags of money, that’s all well and good, but The John Willingham Experience™ has something even better, a true, deep, resentment for Kemp Conrad. Hate may be too strong a word, but you get the distinct feeling that The John Willingham Experience™ would rather not trifle with the likes of Mr. Conrad. Hit him hard and over and over! The John Willingham Experience™ did return a questionnaire in last year’s Mayoral race, so have at it, if you aren’t just following him to watch him beat Conrad bloody.

3. Lester Lit – The other day I said I didn’t know why Lit was in the race. Since then, I’ve come to the conclusion that Lester just really wants to win. He really really wants to win, like, really bad wants to. Looking at his handwritten answers to last years’ questions, he may not be a bad choice. He’d be a helluva lot better than the first two jokers mentioned. I’m sure he’ll join The John Willingham Experience™ in taking some of the shine off Mr. Conrad, and I hope to be in the general vicinity when that happens.

4. Mary Wilder – She may be fourth in the money race, but don’t let that fool ya. The top three guys have A LOT of cash to throw around, I’m not sure Mary does. Money is important in politics but policy is what it’s all about…unless you’re up against a WHOLE LOT OF MONEY, then no one cares what you think. This is the candidate that would have to run that “absolutely brilliant campaign with no mistakes, sleep, food, and probably a bunch of other necessities”.

5. Antonio “2-Shay” Parkinson – I know you’re in Denver, and aren’t going to withdraw, but you should at least think about just sitting this one out, or campaigning with someone who has a chance. I agree that it’s wrong that, between all the frontrunners almost a quarter a million dollars will be blown on a race for a job that pays about $30k, in a city that has declining wages and rampant poverty. I’m with ya on that one. Seriously, it’s beyond criminal. But you have a lot of potential, and you shouldn’t blow it on this one. Here’s your questionnaire from last year. I don’t know what else to say.

6-8. I don’t know about Montague or Ogle. Shaffer doesn’t have piles or money hanging around. I’m withholding any rankings from this point down, because, well, what’s the point? (No offense intended guys). The timeframe for this race is so short that fundraising will be nearly impossible, counting out both money and time for these guys. Ideas are great, but they don’t put food on the table, unless you invent something that’s really cool and have enough money and time to promote it…get where I’m going here? Yeah.

Democrats of Memphis, it’s time to pick your consensus candidate if you want to win. I’m taking nominations at this time. You know what they say, ” a house divided ensures some Republican punk from east Memphis wins”.

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