Maybe I should go for a job with the at Interior Department Employees, charged with overseeing our mineral rights out west partying like it’s Spring Break in Daytona Beach. Here are a couple of my favorite passages:
…Their alleged improprieties include influencing contracts, working part-time as private oil consultants and having sexual relationships with _ and accepting golf and ski trips, snowboarding lessons and concert tickets from _ oil company employees, according to three reports released Wednesday…
Intriguing…tell me more.
“During the course of our investigation, we learned that some RIK employees frequently consumed alcohol at industry functions, had used cocaine and marijuana, and had sexual relationships with oil and gas company representatives,” the report said. Two government employees who had to spend the night after a daytime industry function because they were too intoxicated to drive home were commonly referred to by energy traders as the “MMS Chicks.”
Naughty Naughty…What else?
One worker admitted having a one-night-stand with a Shell employee. That same individual allegedly passed out business cards for her sex toy business, Passion Parties Inc., at work, and bragged that her income from that business exceeded her salary at the Interior Department.
That’s entrepreneurship for ya, play to your strengths Ms. Sex Toy seller!
One of the reports claims that the former head of the Denver royalty-in-kind office, Gregory W. Smith, purchased cocaine from a co-worker, and one occasion had it delivered to the office. He also allegedly had oral sex with subordinates.
Cocaine huh, so that’s why gas is so “high”.
Looks like there might be some positions opening up out there. Get your resume’s in early and often. Hell, a donation to a key Republican might help in getting the job as well.